The Pros and Cons of Staying Together for Your Children
Posted by Jessica on March 15, 2010 · Leave a Comment
If you’re a parent then you are probably familiar with the pressure of having to make the right decisions for your child at all times. What food to serve, what school to enroll in, what values to teach are only some of the everyday decisions that can affect the welfare of our children. However, what happens when these decisions become a lot more challenging? For parents who are unhappily living with each other, the decision whether to separate or not will be one of the toughest decisions they will ever make. Many couples find themselves unhappy with each other. If you and your spouse have tried time and again to fix your marriage to no avail then it might be time to look for other ways to resolve such matters. Settling this conflict is twice as hard on couples with children because the decision affects not only the couple but the little ones involved as well. Perhaps it would be a good idea to discuss the pros and cons of separating so you and your spouse can start taking an objective look on the matter.
Pros of separating
Creating a resolution in a conflicted relationship where a child is involved in is a complex process. The truth is that any situation where parents have to separate will be devastating to any child. What you can do is evaluate the benefits of ending your marriage and think about how it may affect your children. You might think that to grin and bear it for your children is the best decision but the truth is you could be harming your children more by staying in an unhappy marriage. Being an unhappy wife or husband can easily stop you from being the best parent you can be. You might even start resenting parenting because of all the sacrifices you have to make for your kids. Another advantage of ending an unhappy marriage is the fact that you won’t have to expose your children anymore to the animosity between you and your spouse, which can be more harmful for them than divorce.
Cons of separating
The cons or disadvantages of separating should be considered carefully by couples who decide to separate without trying to save their marriage. Remember that separation can cause your children to think they should be choosing between their mother and father. Divorce is almost always traumatizing for the child. Since the child still does not have enough knowledge about life, it might take him years to recover and understand the event that took place. Many children from a “broken home” see their home life as a shadow that hangs over their social life, personal life, school work and future relationships. Depending on the child, some would see their parent’s separation as a reason to avoid stability while some will see it as a cautionary tale to avoid for their own families.
In the end, it’s important to know that every couple faces a tough time in their relationship where separating can seem like the best solution. However, being a good spouse and a responsible parent means that divorce should only be seen as the last resort. In the event that it’s unavoidable, children should receive the guidance they need to get through the ordeal. What do YOU think?
Read more about what the experts are saying here: http://marriage.about.com/od/divorce/i/gooddivorceiss_2.htm
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