Celebrities Weight Issues: Boo-who
Today, as I waited in a hallway for the 4,643rd time this week for a child in an activity, I amused myself by reading a celebrity gossip magazine. And I got a huge laugh, and then felt totally annoyed after I read all about about some “actress” who was whining about the pressures to be thin, and how hard she has it because there is so much pressure to be thin. Now, I am totally with her on the standard for women in Hollywood is ridiculous – I mean a size 4 should not be considered “curvy” but there is a deeper issue here, that really annoyed me.
The actress acted as if she was feeling some unique struggle, or pressure unique to Hollywooed but the truth is I think we ALL feel that pressure. While we may feel pressure not to be a size 0 or size 2, most real women feel the same pressures – and we feel it without a trainer, a chef and all the help in the world.
The women in Hollywood probably DO feel a lot of pressure to be thin – but guess what!? So do women in real life. And you know what?! We don’t have a personal trainer, chefs, and two nannies per child. We are expected to look thin and we are not paid for it, praised for it, made designer outfits for it, or assisted in any way. It is not our offical “JOB” to look good, in fact it is just one of the countless responsibilities we have, but it is a celebrities job. We don’t get ANY money, let alone millions of dollars when we go back to our pre-pregnancy weight. As an actress it IS your job to look good. If you don’t want to deal with that pressure or anyone else commeting on your appearance – don’t make a career out of what you look like. It is like a fireman complaining that he loves his job but hates the heat of fire. If your job IS TO LOOK GOOD and you don’t like that pressure – get a different job.
I look at my friends, other women – you know that have real lives and responsibilities, and they all feel a great amount of pressure to be thin too. Looking at these women, the working moms, the stay at home moms with no help, you know the ones that get up at 5 am to hit the gym or do everything they can to manage to stay fit IN SPITE of all they have to do, made me realize what a disgrace these actresses are.
Here comes the bridesmaid (STOMP STOMP STOMP)
As the weather grows warmer and warmer, the panic begins to set in that soon I will no longer be able to hide the sins of lingering pregnancy weight with things like over sized sweaters, and black leggings and high boots. That slimming little combo has hepled me delude countless friends and family into believing I HAVE lost all my pregnancy weight and that I look great for someone that has been pregnant so recently. (Ps – how long do you get to call it pregnancy weight for? When do I own this mess?)
The truth is, I have the wrong friends for my dress size. I know we are supposed to love our girlfriends unconditionally but truthfully, I hate those skinny bitches. Okay, I am kidding, but really their bodies are all wrong for my self-esteem. Of all of my college and early career friends I am one of the very few that are married, I am the ONLY one that has yet to have children. (Let alone a litter of them). This means, sadly, I am still trying to keep up with a crowd that believes a size 6 is …..HUGE. (No seriously its not their fault – they have been brainwashed by things like billboards in Time Square and US Weekly and Nicole Richie.)
So with this in mind, you can imagine my joy when one of them announces they are getting married and oh goody for me, I get to be in the wedding and stand next to ALL OF THEM IN PICTURES. Let’s talk a look at that pic shall we? Size 0, Size 00, Size 2, Size 00 (-10), Size 2 and then……….ME. Yeah cause it is seriously flattering and highly exciting to be wearing a fuschia cocktail length gown, standing next to chicks that are so damn skinny if they swallowed a grape you would probably SEE it through the dress. I am seriously considering accessorizing my gown with a button like (I had kids they didn’t) or permanently attaching one of the twins to me so everyone can see for themselves there is reason for my larger size. You can tell me – would it be wrong to be actually breastfeeding one of the babies as I walk down the aisle? Too subtle? Not enough to drive the point home?
So the wedding is in three weeks. Pale Mint. I know so flattering – really thrilled about it. Even more thrilled about the other three bridesmaids that told me at the shower they REALLY need to loose weight before the photographer captures their image. (I guess they are going for completely invisible.) I, of course, did the whole “OMG you are so skinny you totally don’t have to” as is stated in my girlfriend contract, and then I of course, totally agreed I had to do the same.
Then I went home and ate the rest of my kid’s french fries to make myself feel better. Then I cried. (And ordered the button in a color that will compliment my mint dress perfectly).
