GIGI's CRIB - Making a Mockery of Motherhood » toddler

Awesome Halloween Idea: Create An Eerie View Out The Window

Sarah — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 22:23:06 +0000

Love this idea from BHG.com on creating a “Dreadful View” out of the window by taking a regular graveyard photo and simply magnifying it.

Then paste onto wall or window to create a scary landscape effect.

If you are feeling creative and/or ambition, you can even take a picture yourself with your own digital camera and convert it to black-and-white, then take the image to a blueprint service to have it enlarged.

Use double-sided tape to attach the image to the window from the outside if it’s protected from the elements or simply tape from the inside.

If the window is unprotected, tape the photo to the inside — cutting it into individual panes if you have to deal with muntins (as seen here).

This is an awesome Halloween project to do with your children and involved no mess and almost no clean-up.

How’s that for easy breezy?

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Should Your 9 Year Old Be Allowed to Breastfeed?

Sarah — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 12:35:47 +0000

Really!? I am sitting here trying to figure out why this is so disturbing to me and I realize because it is making my daughter focus on something that honestly is mentally difficult for ME to comprehend. Hey I did the boob juice thing – and let me tell you friends, I went to the extreme to get it done. I INDUCED LACTATION FOR GOD’S SAKES with pills, I pumped for months on end when my kids were in NICUs….you want dedication!? I WAS DEDICATED. Hell I could have been the POSTER girl for La Leche…the sisters over there worshiped me. They wanted to make molds of my breasts to worship and then go on a book tour. Okay Okay maybe not but still…fact is I am a firm believer in breastfeeding….

That being said. I am also a huge fan of sex, sipping wine, gambling and all other kinds of activities that we adults like to do. I would argue that for consenting adults sex is just as natural as breastfeeding but I am not buying my sons an inflatable doll so they can practice now. JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE THINGS WE DO AS ADULTS, DOES NOT MEAN OUR CHILDREN SHOULD BE EMULATING A BEHAVIOR THAT IS NATURAL FOR AN ADULT AS A CHILD. Look I am sure my daughter will be having cocktails with us when she is of age – am I giving her pretend little vodka and martini sets to start practicing how to mix mama a mai thai?!! (Oh…note to self ..not a bad idea to have the KIDS mix the drinks to save time so I can do my makeup…I kid I kid.)

Honestly, just take a look at that picture with that little girl. Feeling a little awkward? Wanna look away? Doesn’t something inside just make you feel like…”oh thats not right.” Yeah…I thought so.

Bottom line: Don’t try THIS at home kids.

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Stay at Home or Working Mom – Which is Better?

Sarah — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 19:20:50 +0000

Quite frankly, I often struggle with this topic myself. I chose to “Work From Home” when my child was born with the belief that it would allow the best of both worlds. I would be home with her whenever she needed me and I could still make a living!

Some days are tougher than others! I feel like I’m doing both things terribly! My attention is divided among 19 things at the same time and that includes, changing diaprs, cooking lunch for my daughter, answering work related questions (I have 3 employees working out of my house for my business), new product lines I’m launching and soooo much more! It almost seems unfair to my child and to my business because I feel like I’m failing them both.

However, there is some part of me that feels fulfilled and happy that I chose this path and am able to stay home with my daughter. I’ve fallen into a rhythm where I work while she sleeps, we play while she is awake, and then I have a babysitter for 3 hours per day, 3 days per week. It seems to work for now! I get a 6 hour workday between her nap and the babysitter, she gets to see me all day, I cook her breakfast, lunch and dinner, we spend our mornings reading and playing together and she socializes with someone other than me and her daddy. I can’t possibly think of a better scenario.

I started reading this book by Dr. Laura Schlessinger “In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms,” in which she “unapologetically urges mothers to remain at home instead of juggle a career and motherhood.”

Now I have to warn you, some of her ideas and suggestions sound a bit archaic and unrealistic. But I do have to admit, there is some rhyme, reason and sense in there if you listen carefully.

This Wall Street Journal article covers an interview done with Dr. Schlessinger discussing her book and some of her ideas.

What do you think? Should women stay home with their babies or should they work if they have to??? What choice did you make?

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Oobi…WTF Award Winner

Gigi — Fri, 08 May 2009 19:59:04 +0000

And the WTF award of the day goes to…………………Oobi

I don’t even know where to begin with this video, other than the fact that stuff like this that makes me feel stupid. You mean to tell me all I had to do was stick some googly eyes on my hands and speak in broken english sentences and I would have a hit show on Noggin!? What was I doing going to college, and working and trying to learn a skill. I know a lot of children’s shows are tougher to produce then I would think (I love Little Bear and realize I NEVER coul have come up with something so clever.) But when I see this stuff!? All I can think is “Quick someone get me a marker and a Q-tip, I can make a puppet and retire at 40. ” This is the crap are kids our watching and loving!?

I admit I spent 90% of this show wondering how these people were all laying down and manuevering to make this happen?! That guy with the big hairy arm can NOT be small. I started laughing my ass off at the thought of these people laying all over each other, trying to make the angles right. Maybe they do deserve the millions they are making because that has to be really awkward. Watch when they move over to the pillow so the handpuppets are all laying down near the couch. Can you imagine what is really going on? It must look like an obscene game of Twister to make this happen.

And as a side note: who is this freak on YouTube that thought – “this show is so good I need to record it and put it on YOU TUBE!? I can barely get my shit together enough to record important things like ballet recitals, and baptism and these people have the time to record Oobi. Really!? Of all the things in this world – this is what HAD to get on YouTube…Riiiggght.

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The Battery Fairy

Gigi — Fri, 08 May 2009 19:16:42 +0000

There is not much I have control over in this life. I mean I have no control over my body (I think my hips spread at least 10 cm each night as I sleep), no control over my children (although they do at times pretend to know how to behave), and certainly have no control over the endless tidal wave that is the laundry pile in my mud room. However today I got to experience God like power. Normally my interaction with our playroom falls under one of two things : I am either cleaning and organizing it, or I am pointing at it telling the children to “go play” so I can talk on the phone, do my hair, etc. Today, I realized pretty much every truck, helicopter, train, and bus needed batteries. So armed with a Phillips head screw driver, and over 50 batteries I sat down and began the task.

The first thing I thought was incredibly annoying was the fact that I actually NEEDED a screwdriver…what was is with these toy companies – it is a battery people not a toxic bomb! And just as I was getting all smug in my thought, immediately thinking it “blog worthy” Chase found a battery and stuck in his mouth. Now this in itself would be not THAT big of a deal if he had not found the ONE battery that had leaked. Seriously. 800 batteries and the kid goes for the freaking battery that is spewing toxic liquid everywhere. I immediately felt remorse for my earlier comment – for all those mothers that love to ignore their children as they play in the playroom like I, I say, thank you to the toy manufacturers that have created those screw portected battery compartments. I can not rest easy next time I point to the playroom, barking “Go Play” a call to Posion Control will not be necessary. (Well okay not for battery consumption at least).

Secondly, toys are MUCH cooler when they can do the stuff they are supposed to. Seriously those Hess trucks were barely getting played with (and since we have one for every year since oh….300 B.C.) that is a serious waste of space. Well, I popped those C batteries in like it was my J-O-B and they ALL came to life. I was soon surrounded by 40 trucks and motorcycles that were all screaming, revving, beeping. I felt like a Toy GOD. I cackled loudly at their movement, and raised my hands high above my head and screamed “DANCE little puppets DANCE” in a glorious moment of delusional power.

The only thing cooler than my momentary hallucinations of power, was the look on the boys’ faces when they saw all the toys. It was like Christmas morning – a million toys and they had no idea what to play with first.

So with the wave of that screwdriver that became little mental magic wand, I not only made the toys come alive, I created a nice quite (relatively speaking) afternoon for myself. Magic.

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Healthy Snack Sucks

Gigi — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 19:12:39 +0000

There are a lot of really overweight kids in this country. It is a true statement, and a sad one, because it is really the easiest to be thin when you are 5 – you know when running around the yard at top speed for two hours isn’t a chore, but a favored past time. But the truth of the matter is, that that our kids are not overweight because Max brought cupcakes to school for his birthday, or because they had ice cream after lunch on a hot summer day. Today, it was our turn to bring in snack. Okay – cool. I can swing that. I went to the food store, I got ingredients, I googled (yes!!) the recipe, I was set. Max and I made the cutest little cupcakes with oreo ears to look like panda cupcakes (HELLO!?! MOM OF THE YEAR AWARD). Anyhow, all joyous and bubbly we bounce into school this morning with a cupcake tower and enough panda cupcakes for a wildlife preserve scene. I proudly walk up to the teacher to give her the cupcakes (did I mention we even colored coconut to be the color green to look like bambo?! I know so cute right!?) Anyway, we walk up to Miss B, and you know what she says?! Not wow, not how cute, she didn’t even praise me for my fine attention to my children (bitch LOL) but says this is not “healthy snack”. I was then told healthy snack is carrots, wheat germ, organic asparagus, etc. Okay seriously WTF?! I have to bring in celery for Max and Ty’s birthday instead of a cupcake because some lazy ass mother gives her kids McDonalds five times a day, and his best sport is video games?! Yeah, I am sure for this kid, my CUPCAKE IS REALLY THE PROBLEM…riiiiight. Are you serious? My ONE cupcake is the nail in the coffin?! Of course, I voiced my opinion rather politely and you know what happened of course. The teacher stood firm, I bought carrot sticks and Max cried. (Then Ty started to cry reminding me how fun it is that when there is a birthday dissappointment we get it times two with twins!!) Rest assured however, that when their crying stopped I told him we will be having Panda cupcakes for dinner. All 20 of them. So go ahead – call Deyfus now…my kids eat cupcakes and I think “healthy snack” sucks.

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Back to Cool….

Gigi — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 17:53:12 +0000

I fully recognize that I have some emotional issues because any mother that refuses to let her poor three year old daughter get the Dora backpack she wants because it is a “cheesy cartoon character” has some serious issues. I believe I was hugged enough as a child, I have my own sense of “fashion identity”, I am pretty secure in myself – I don’t have an overwhelming sense of self-loathing, but something inside me just can’t do it. I ask myself ”Why do I REALLY care!?”

With it soon being time to go back to school, we decided it was time to get a backpack. Yeah, I know, a little late since every other mother bought them like fourth of July weekend, but hey, we work on a 24 hour schedule in this house – if it doesn’t have to be dealt with in the next day, we are not even THINKING about it.

So we roll into an adorable little boutique for girls. You know one of those stores where you know you are going to pay 5 times what something is worth, but you are just so damned psyched to have a girly girl you could care less?! Anyway Avery immediately spots the most horrific backpack ever and is like “THIS ONE MOMMY!” Really!? THAT ONE!? I mean what do you think was the most appealing characteristic? The shiny, Made-in-China plastic that was so cheaply made it just SMELLED toxic, or the bright fuschia and hot pink combo that just “popped” off flaming orange background, or the giant Dora next to the word “Vamanos”!!! To make it even MORE unappealing (if that is possible!), this backpack was the only total cheese ball one. This little “gem” was surrounded by the most adorable backpacks – ones with hand stitched bunny rabbits, and quilted patterns in soft pinks and blue, and little polka dot and ribbon combos…WHY AVERY WHY!??!

So I did what any good, well adjust mother would do. I negotiated and made an offer she could not refuse. I told her to pick any toy out in the store she wanted, she could sleep in my bed that night and just to seal the deal without a tantrum I even through in ice cream on the way home. I then I bought the backpack I wanted….and called my therapist about my self-esteem issues.

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248 Months Pregnant

Gigi — Tue, 22 May 2007 02:24:48 +0000

I met someone today that is pregnant with a 4 1/2 year old. Okay well not quite but sometimes I think people really need to cut the cord. Today, at Avery’s swim class we were discussing the best nursery schools in the area and where we needed to send our future rocket scientists. (Of course because we all know the right nursery school is CRUCIAL to getting into Harvard Business School….sigh) Anyway, one mother (Bless her soul) turns to me and says, she is so nervous about sending her kid in the fall because she is yet to leave him. I thought she meant her two year old that was on her lap. Um….no…she was referring to her nearly 5 year old son. I nearly fell off my chair. Don’t get my wrong – my husband and I are not jetting off to any tropical islands and leaving our kids with the au pair, but for God’s sakes are you serious!? This kid is almost 5 years old and the mother hasn’t even left him for two hours!?? What?!! As I tried to swallow my (horror, confusion, disdain, etc.) for this weird clinginess, I began to ask some questions. I was like “Wow really, he hasn’t started school?” and she said (OMG GET THIS!!!) “Well he would have loved to but I just wasn’t ready yet…I mean I gave up my career to be home with him, so if I am going to be home he is too.” Okay, where do I begin with how scary this mentality is!?

I mean, really. You are punishing your kid because you decided to be a stay at home mom?! What kind of mother holds back her child in any capacity because it is best for their emotional needs? And I wonder how long does this rule stay in place? I mean when he is 17 will he be allowed to go out or is only allowed on dates when mommy can come? ou think I am kidding but could you imagine being this woman’s daughter in law. Scary.

All I could think of, as she went on and on about she knows she is going to cry her eyes out the first day of preschool (you know when he is 9 years old ), is the long road this poor little boy has ahead of him. Hasn’t she heard of the butterfly…you know if you love something let it go blah blah blah ? Please, if I ever start pulling crap like this with my children, I want you to slap me. There is a reason why kids are supposed to hang on to your ankles and not the other way around. It is pretty hard for a 35 lb kid to drag a 140 lb women…literally, and figuratively.

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