Potty Training Mommy
So I sat down to write something about some relevant news topic, and realized I have to pee. Really bad. And you know I have no idea why but I just continue to hold it. I have no idea why I am doing this because frankly it is really uncomfortable. And really going to the bathroom is not some long task, some Olympic sport. I mean what ? I have to walk 10 feet, unzip my jeans (okay okay you got me – I am wearing sweats – even easier than unzipping pants!!) and I will feel completely relieved and 100% better?! Yet I continue to make myself suffer.
It is not as if I have to use an outhouse or I am driving on a high way or in the middle of a stadium where the bathroom is hazardous to my health. I am not a fireman or cop in the midst of saving some one’s life where there is literally no time, or an action hero in some movie that has not been scripted to pee. (Ever notice how in those suspense movies NO ONE EVER goes to the bathroom? I mean in the show 24 we are supposedly following crime fighter Jack Bauer for 24 straight hours yet the guy NEVER pees. What is up with that?)
There is a bathroom just a mere 10 feet away, it is clean and stocked with all kinds of toilet papers, and wipes and nicely scented sprays and such. Yet, I am so what? Lazy? Sadistic? Focused? that I insist on holding it?
The funniest part of all?! I know I am not alone. Half of you reading this are probably doing the same thing. I know this is true because every single time I announce I have to go to the bathroom another mother/friend will go “Me too!! I really have to go too!” as if they needed to be reminded their bladder is about to burst. Seriously, think about it. Do you have to pee right now?
Hey on a bright note, maybe if I wet my pants and someone reads this I will get to do a product review for Depends. Okay, this is ridiculous…I have nothing to say because I can’t even think of anything but my bladder and now my legs are crossed so tight they are starting to hurt. (Hey wait. Is this technically a thigh exercise that I can loose weight from?) If someone turns on a facet I am in serious trouble. Oh the sound of running water, not good. Okay I have to go……..I am going to ………..oops……um, too late. So warm and what a relief………..(HA HA JUST KIDDING!!) Now go pee before we BOTH have an accident.
