Reinvent Romance Back Into Your Relationship After A Baby
Posted by Sarah on January 28, 2010 · Leave a Comment
The first time Tom and I went out after our daughter turned 2, was a surreal experience. We went out to dinner, ate in peace and actually were able to have a normal conversation that did not involve the words: “No, don’t play with your food”, “Don’t throw your fork and food on the floor”, “Don’t stick noodles in your nose!” and sooooo many more versions of this!
Don’t get me wrong! We’ve gone out all together but that is an experience for a different post!
I cannot tell you how refreshing it can be to go out and just enjoy a night out! But it does involve some planning ahead of time and a reliable babysitter. Here is a great post from The Bump with some creative ideas on how to spice up your Valentine’s Day.
Planning ahead is key here!
Gone are the days when you and your partner can jump up and go out to dinner or even a movie. Try to plan in advance either a long lunch from work or even take a day off and enjoy a spa massage, mani-pedi, or even couples’ facials. Anything to break the routine of work, home, diapers, bottles, pumping, feeding, etc.
And even if you stay at home with the baby, it’s still a good idea to prepare in advance, get a babysitter, pump extra milk.
Simple gifts can be appreciated more than store-bought gifts.
I must admit, in those early days with an infant, the opportunity to take a shower and/or a nap, was an absolute luxury. Give your partner a few hours off to do something for themselves or even treat them to a massage, a relaxing bath, a middle of the day nap and a home-made dinner would be an absolute thrill!!
Get adventurous and creative!
From The Bump: Couples therapist and The Nest expert Dr. Ingrid Schweiger of New York City says “Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to make your relationship center stage again.” While a dozen roses, a box of chocolates and a fancy dinner out are all great (and universal) ways to woo your partner, think about what you can change within your own home. “A clean bedroom, a made bed, some candles and soft music is pretty romantic when you’re used to diapers, bottles, piles of laundry and dirty dishes,” says Blumencranz. Once baby goes down for the night (or for a couple of hours) uncork the wine and whip out the china—even if it’s just takeout or pasta on the fancy ware, the ambiance is key. Bonus points if you take the time to cut out little hearts from construction paper and sprinkle them on the table when your partner isn’t looking. And remember, says Blumencranz, Valentine’s Day is the day when you show your partner how much he or she means to you. The day can be as special as you want it to be. Dr. Schweiger agrees. She says the biggest mistake you can make is to not acknowledge the day because baby is here. Schweiger recommends writing your partner a love letter. “Even if life has been stressful with all the changes brought by parenthood, reflect on what makes your partner unique and lovable,” she says. “Deepening your intimacy is what it’s all about.”
There you have it. So even in a tough economy you can enjoy your Valentine’s day as a couple and bring romance back into your relationship!
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