A War on Pregnancy: Just Say No
By the last month of my last pregnancy I was out of my mind. I could NOT WAIT to return to my slim self. I was all about it – I would wear mini skirts, I was going to love doing 1000 crunches a day, I would look at my size 4 friends with envy at their cute clothes, the swiftness at which they could move, the sexy shoes and I was SOOO over being pregnant. I was ready to perform my own c-section most days. I wanted out of pregnancy-ville and I was going to bring sexy back. I …WAS…DONE.
And I was. I worked out, I got the new clothes, the smaller waist….I was back. Then I see one of my friend’s that is pregnant and I want to be pregnant again. I HATED being pregnant. What is it though about seeing a pregnant woman that makes you forget that fact and instead think “Hey I want to do that to!?!?” All of sudden I am blinded by how great it is NOT to have to suck in your stomach for pictures, and the allure of flowing shirts with empire waists, and I begin to hallucinate about how much I loved being pregnant. I start to think things like…It wasn’t so bad. (Yes, it was.) I loved being pregnant sometimes (no, I didn’t..EVER), It was fun watching my belly grow (I was horrified).
And the main problem is, a lot like most drug addicts I am by the wrong people. I am running with the wrong crowd. The pregnant crowd. As discussed my friends are now reproducing at an alarming rate. Seriously, I am at the point that when someone calls me and says the words “Guess what?” I just have the auto reply of “Your pregnant.” Some of my friends have 3, 4 chidlren yet they go to a baby shower and I get the “I want another one….just one more” call.
I need to remind myself that these pregnancies create HUMAN BEINGS – babies are not meant to be collected and traded like a sticker collection or beanie babies. After the pregnancy there is actually a BABY to take care of which we all know is fine and dandy (because of course one look at baby shoes and all logic is COMPLETELY GONE) but that BABY turns into a CHILD. And a CHILD needs to be feed, and educated, and it costs a million trillion dollars. And it is going to be a lot like the three other “models” I already have now.
In the 80s we launched a “War on Drugs”. We need to bring the war back but realize this drug is more powerful than crack, more tempting than heroine: Pregnancy is really an epidemic; It is the worst drug us suburban moms have seen since Ritalian. We need to stop hanging out with the wrong crowd ,(you know the pregnant people) and put down the ovulation sticks.
Step away from the preggos and Just say no.
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Oh my god! You are so right. Thats just too funny. By the ninth month, I was soo ready to have the whole pregnancy over with, I was so unprepared for what followed. A screaming, whiny, hungry, non-sleeping infant. I wouldve done anything to put her back in the belly! Half the time, my husband and I were running around @ 3 AM saying things like —- “GET BACK IN THE BELLLLYYY”. How she is a 19 month old little terrorist (or as I like to call her my mamarist) and we are still saying the same thing. I cant imagine having another one yet!!!!