A Mother’s National Holiday

Today is November 1, 2009 and it of course marks the first day of a little something I like to call “The time for the greatest sentence in the English language for anyone attempting to raise (discipline, bribe, etc.)  a child.”

Now that Halloween is behind us,  mothers across the country will begin looking to the upcoming holiday season and can officially begin using our favorite phrases. One of the very few weapons we have in our arsenal of parenthood. Three magic little words that can transform a tantrum, a misbehaving lunatic into a wide eyed, fearful little angel.  Words that have been spoken for generations with a promise of results……..Those magical three little words…(Say it with me now…)

“Santa is watching.”

THIS ladies, is why we are beginning what is known as the” most wonderful time of the year.”

Pumpkin Carving & Marriage

See, I probably should be thrilled that the father of my children was willing to carve a pumpkin and get involved with the family decorating event…but really all I can think about is given my personality, and my general ability to drive the man insane, is him having such impeccable carving skills cause for concern?

Jaime Foxx : Underachiever

So of course every single radio station I turn to has the song “Blame it on the Alcohol.”  Seriously, if you haven’t heard it, it is time for an intervention. But let’s just say that since this song could be a personal anthem for more than one of my friends, I was curious who sang it. Anyway, realizing what a fine tune it is, I looked to find out who sings it. Turns out it is Jamie Foxx.  I was like…wait what? What a talented bastard this guy is.

He was in  TON of crazy good movies:  Jarhead, Ray, the Kingdom, not to mention a successful television career – he was on the show Roc, In Living Color and then he had his own WB show. He won an Oscar for Ray, then was nominated again in the same year for another movie. He is one of only five performers to have both a Billboard #1 single and an Oscar for acting. The others are Barbra Streisand, Cher, Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby. Oh yeah, and because that wasn’t enough he has also has an awesome voice (he actually sang in that movie Ray – amazing!) and is dropping cds for the club….Great….no really Jaime could you just try to be something or do something with your life?! !

I mean honestly, I couldn’t do ONE of the things successfully in a lifetime and this guy…he is just dropping cds, throwing on glasses, swaying his head and winning Ocars. Oh yeah..and he is actually pretty good looking.  Of course.

If you just don’t feel quite impressed yet, you have to check out his long list of accomplishments here. Seriously. It is nauseating.

I mean does God even count out the talents he gives people? There is no turn taking or rationing them out kind of thing?  And the funniest part about it, is that he is all discreet about it – he is like the Russian assassin of talent. Look at Britney Spears — I mean the movie Crossroads was just crap, and while I believe she is a great entertainer her voice is mediocre at best. Yet she is everywhere, as if she is some amazing artist with dynamic and ever changing talent.

So today we celebrate the many talents of Jaime Foxx..Congratulations on being so awesome….Maybe we should get this guy working on a cure for cancer. I am sure he would find it in between his next Oscar winning movie,  and his next sold out concert.

No I am NOT bitter….I blame it on the alcohol.

C-Section : Risks & Rewards

I just finished reading one of the ten thousand articles I have read in my lifetime about C-section versus vaginal birth and frankly I am completely tired of it.  The one article I am about to rip to shreds can be found here.

First of all, do I think doctors perform way more c-sections than they probably should because they don’t want to be inconvenienced by a call at 3 am or because some annoying patient needs to “pencil in” having a baby into their spa weekend/nanny/work schedule?  Absolutely. However………….

1. I find it completely intolerable to say that women should/do feel ‘less of a woman” because they deliver via C-section. I mean really people? Really? Do we have to be so hard on ourselves that making a human is not enough!?! Read more

Diet & Nutrition

So many kids these days get treated and medicated for ADD and ADHD. Unfortunately society has brought so many bad eating habits and the more rushed we are the more we bring these upon our children. And it is not just hyperactivity but the tantrums and the bad behavior. SO please I ask you all, before you ask you children to be assessed for these disorders, re consider there diet, no matter what age! For two weeks be strict about what they eat. Try as much natural produce as you can because as you have probably read, most foods that are so called ” Low GI for kids or “low Fat” what ever the label might say you need to go deeper. If you are having a problem with your child steer them free from preservatives and colored foods.

The Battery Fairy

There is not much I have control over in this life. I mean I have no control over my body (I think my hips spread at least 10 cm each night as I sleep), no control over my children (although they do at times pretend to know how to behave), and certainly have no control over the endless tidal wave that is the laundry pile in my mud room. However today I got to experience God like power. Normally my interaction with our playroom falls under one of two things : I am either cleaning and organizing  it, or I am pointing at it telling the children to “go play” so I can talk on the phone, do my hair, etc. Today, I realized pretty much every truck, helicopter, train, and bus needed batteries. So armed with a Phillips head screw driver, and over 50 batteries I sat down and began the task.

The first thing I thought was incredibly annoying was the fact that I actually NEEDED a screwdriver…what was is with these toy companies – it is a battery people not a toxic bomb! And just as I was getting all smug in my thought, immediately thinking it “blog worthy” Chase found a battery and stuck in his mouth. Now this in itself would be not THAT big of a deal if he had not found the ONE battery that had leaked. Seriously. 800 batteries and the kid goes for the freaking battery that is spewing toxic liquid everywhere. I immediately felt remorse for my earlier comment – for all those mothers that love to ignore their children as they play in the playroom like I, I say, thank you to the toy manufacturers that have created those screw portected battery compartments. I can not rest easy next time I point to the playroom, barking “Go Play” a call to Posion Control will not be necessary. (Well okay not for battery consumption at least).

Secondly, toys are MUCH cooler when they can do the stuff they are supposed to. Seriously those Hess trucks were barely getting played with (and since we have one for every year since oh….300 B.C.) that is a serious waste of space. Well, I popped those C batteries in like it was my J-O-B and they ALL came to life.  I was soon surrounded by 40 trucks and motorcycles that were all screaming, revving, beeping. I felt like a Toy GOD. I cackled loudly at their movement, and raised my hands high above my head and screamed “DANCE little puppets DANCE” in a glorious moment of delusional power.

The only thing cooler than my momentary hallucinations of power, was the look on the boys’ faces when they saw all the toys. It was like Christmas morning – a million toys and they had no idea what to play with first. 

So  with the wave of that screwdriver that became little mental  magic wand, I not only made the toys come alive, I  created a nice quite (relatively speaking) afternoon for myself.  Magic.

Mel Gibson Showing Off His New Russian Girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva

I was never really one to swoon over Mel Gibson. I just never really thought he was all that hot. I think I am too young to be of age to be in his fan club anyway – I think most Gibson fans were much older and remember him from films where he was much younger and more attractive. Looking at him in this picture it reminds me of two things 1. Aging is a bitch because even he is starting to look like Elmer Fud and 2. Men that are with women that much younger than themselves look ridiculous. Seriously how old is that chick? He looks like her father for God’s sakes. Note to all men : having a fresh, beautiful young women on your arm only make you look………..OLDER AND IN DENIAL ABOUT YOURSELF NOT younger or more handsome. Put it this way if you stand next to someone that is a size 00 and you are a size 4 you look that much bigger. Stand next to someone that is a size 12 and you are a size 4 you look completely emmaciated. See my point? Based on how he looks in this pic I would have suggested a 75 year old.  Furthermore, and even MORE depressing for Braveheart is the fact that she is not THAT much younger than him for the comparison to be dramatic.  She is supposedely 39 which makes there a 14 year age difference. It looks more like 34 in the pictures which is really sad.  Normally I would feel incredibly bad for the soon to be ex-wife: It must be really painful to watch the person you spent over 28 years of your life with parade around a new girlfriend but in this case I am thinking she is doing just fine. i have a feeling Mrs Gibson is laughing all the way to the bank.

p90X – The Most Extreme Fitness Routines for Real Weight Loss – Try it if you dare!

Although, the p90x is a great routine to get in shape, and had indeed helped a lot of people in achieving their personal, professional and physical goals within the stipulated period of time, yet there is one big flaw in the whole p90x system, which makes it a little vary to start off with. The mere fact that there is a high investment involved and it is not certainly for everyone makes it a little inaccessible to those who want a trial method to start off with, before going in for the routine in full blow. Yes, there have been certain innovations on the part of Tony Horton which have made the trial of this plan possible (I am talking about the 10 minute plan), yet, a lot of people just shy away from the p90x because of the extreme factor associated with it.

Cashing in on the opportunity provided to them by the extreme nature of the p90x, many fitness experts have evolved simpler and more fun to do workout routines in the meanwhile. These routines have been welcomed by many people who thought that they were too ‘unfit’ to try an extreme fitness routine. One such fun routine is the turbo jam workout plan, which combines certain groovy moves, coupled with great music and some easy to do burnout plans, making it a hot favorite these days. More than a million people have adopted the turbo jam workout routine in the past 10 months or so, and the number is growing at an astounding pace.

Those who have done this routine, and have got results from it have reported that the first visible changes were observed in the thigh and the abdominal regions, which are intuitively the most problematic to work upon in other cases. Kickboxing, which is a major part of the turbo jam workout plan, becomes easier to complete as time progresses. This gives confidence and self-motivation to newbies. Kickboxing also enhances one’s endurance, balance and flexibility, besides giving a punch to the kicks as they get better over a period of time. The best part about a turbo jam workout is that after the workout, most people have noticed that fact that they had sweat more than during any other routine, which is a motivation in itself.

Based on the principle of “interval training”, which is one of the most popular methods of training among athletes and body builders these days. This method involves raising the heart beat suddenly to a desired level by doing high intensity workouts in short spurts of time, followed by a resting period. After the resting period is over, the performer would perform the short, intense exercise routine once again, and go on till a target number of sets are achieved in a given duration of time. The ‘recovery’ period should be used to motivate your self to achieve more during the next short spurt of the workout. By doing this, you would be constantly pushing yourself over the envelope every single time you go for a set, and therefore, it would help you in burning more fat as the time progresses.

P90X, Turbo Jam and Hip Hop Abs Will Change Your Body – Guaranteed Results!

P90x has been responsible for taking exercising to the extreme. In just 90 days, a normal body is transformed into one hell of a fat burning entity. For getting that elusive flat ab, many people have adopted the p90x exercising schedule, and have experienced great results. Apart from the p90x routine, there are a lot of machines and exercise equipments that help you get your abs in perfect form, without expending much effort. There are machines designed for twisting and crunching your abs. The only problem with such movements is that one needs to combine a hefty cardiovascular workout routine with the spot-twisting movements in order to melt away the fat from the muscle in totality; otherwise, it would keep coming back.

There are some programs, other than the p90x, which focus specifically on clubbing movements involving both the crunches and cardiovascular burnouts. The Hip Hop Abs program is one such program. This program uses a tilt-and-tuck technique, and focuses on clubbing dancing movements with the crunches. Designed by Chris T, the program is very useful to chisel your abs by incorporating crunches in dance forms, making a great workout routine. The Abs sculpt 1, Abs sculpt 2 and the last minute abs programs are specifically designed routines under the Hip Hop abs program which target the abs and the obliques. The best part about following such a routine is that one doesn’t get bored doing the same stereotypical exercises over and over again.

The Tilt, Tuck and Tighten move aims at tilting the shoulders, tucking in the tailbone and tightening the abs, to give the maximum stretch where it is needed the most. Another popular program used to get those flat abs is the turbo-jam exercise routine, designed by beachbody, the parent company behind the p90x. Turbo jam uses a move called the Turbo-tuck, which is said to be one of the most effective methods of isolating the abdominal muscles during a cardiovascular workout routine. The turbo tuck requires tucking the tail bone using a standing crunch stance. Turbo jam workout routines are such, that according to people who have tried them, you would end up exploring and working out muscles which had never existed in the last of your thoughts. Ab-jam is one turbo workout that is focused entirely on the abdominal muscles, and like most ab-focused routines, it is a floor exercise. The routine is divided into two segments actually, the first segment if for newbies, and uses a standing stance, which aims at giving shape to the abdominal muscles. The second segment, which is an entirely floor-based workout routine is very difficult to complete and one might require multiple efforts to pull the routine through in the correct and desired form.

Finally, using the p90x chin up bar and curling your legs upward while keeping the upper body still, is a great full-body workout. With the arms and the back fully stretched, and the tail bone tucked in, this is one major fat burning routine, you just cant afford to miss if you want to get those great looking abs.

How to Choose the Right Dog for Your Family

When choosing your new best friend, it is important to take into account the breeds personality and breed characteristics. For example, is he good with children? Most dogs, in general, can be goodl with children if raised right and every breed can be bad with kids if they are not properly socialized from the very beginning. Also, does the dog need a lot of exercise? Can he be an apartment dog? It may not be a good idea to get an excitable dog or one who needs many hours of excersice and space to run if you live in an apartment in a large city.

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Here is a quick overview of the Sporting Group dogs and their characteristics:

The Sporting breeds are today’s age version of the hunters helpers. They are bred to assist a modern hunter who hunts with a gun rather than a net. This breed is bred to work with the hunter to extend the hunter’s ability by either finding, moving or bringing back the birds the hunter has captured.

This group is made up of the beeds which include Pointing and Setting Breeds which “freeze” in mid stride and “point” to game.

The group that brings the game or moves it around is the spaniels which range back and forth close to the hunter, flushing game so that the hunter can shoot it.

The group that brings back downed game is the retrievers, which mark where the game falls and return with it over land or through water.

This is a short overview of the sporting group of dogs and which sub groups make up this large breed. Next we will look into the specific breeds which make up each of the subgroups so everyone gets a good idea of the personalities and characteristics which are part of each breed.

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