The Mom Song (you already know the words!)

In honor of all you stay at home moms we had to share this hilarious ( or obnoxious video – you decide) about all the things we say (1000 times) in a day!
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Bumper stickers : Say what!?

Bumper stickers fascinate me on so many levels. Maybe it is because I never found a 3- 5 word message so important to me I felt compelled to hang it on my vehicle or because, I realize my opinion on abortion or the war in Iraq is not really important to the 85.4 people I pass on the way to Shop Rite. I have also never felt so courageous I needed to place a “NO FEAR” sticker anywhere (especially just above a bumper sticker of Calvin peeing on something). I always figured if I had an opinion or thought on something in this day and age of mass media, emailing,  blogging, etc. it can be communicated using other avenues than the back of my SUV.

I have no idea how these things are legal because it seems like they are just the “text messages while driving” of the 90s. We tell people..hell.. we have LAWS preventing talking on cell phones, and sending text messages YET we allow people to place on the back of the car bumper stickers with small print that  encourage people to get as close possible to read them. And you know you have to. I DEFY you to see a bumper sticker on the car in front of you and NOT read it. It is impossible, because for some strange reason you care about what the guy in the car next to/in front you felt was SOOO important, he took the time to read it, buy it, and then stick it on his car. Whatever the message is, whether it be about his love of cocker spaniels, his honor student (eww) or his stance on Jesus, this guy has something to say, and frankly he has decided the best way to express himself is through a sticker on a car.

I am not sure what it says about the people that have them, or about me that I am obsessed with reading them, becuase the worst part of it all is I do. Every single one. I will even make an effort if required – speeding up, edging closer – whatever it takes because GOD FORBID I should not know what that little neon owner was trying to tell me with his 15 bumper sticker messages. So this is the question I leave with you. Is it more pathetic to be the person that needed to let everyone they “heart their right to bear arms” or the idiot behind them that is squinting to find out just what they “heart” so much?!

Mommy Boards: Not for the Average (Mama) Bear

Okay granted it may be confusing that these people intimidate me like they do but come on, let’s face it this blog is about laughing at myself. And frankly, it is all about HILARIOUS. It is written almost as a diary, and some gossip between us girlfriends. Hell, add a little face time, a few martinis and some Forever 21 clothing and this blog is a night out. But in searching for some basic recall information on a plastic peice of crap I bought for my child, I came accross these Mommy Board things. Am I a horrible mother becuase I would rather go for a pap smear that take and post pictures of my kids missing teeth or a “to do list for my weekend” or a “Max Funny”? I mean there are post counts next to members names and some of these people have some SERIOUS time on their hands. I mean 25,703 posts about your kids potty training tips, clothing sizes, and little “funny stories”?? (Note to self: Find these women, capitalize on their time and energy, take over the world.) So of course, I realize there is nothing wrong with them (Um there are a lot more of THEM then there are of me, so I have to be the loser here right?) and I am seeing this as my own shortcomings. What does any Type A yuppie mother with something to prove to herself (and the Mommy gods) do? I joined. I came up with a clever little name, I even used the letters of my kids names to be all cute (MOM POINTS!!). I was going to be like these women who were ALL ABOUT THE KIDS, I was in it, I tried to post and….NOTHING. Seriously, nothing. (I know right!? Here I have so much to say what happened?) I couldn’t do it. I felt like posting on that board was the proverbial taking pictures out of your wallet in a store and going “SEE?! SEE HOW CUTE MY KIDS ARE/WHAT A GREAT MOM I AM?” So I am sad to say friends, Mama2AMCT will be reserving her visits for the next time she buys more toxic toys for her kids….(I do love that recall section!)

Ringtones for Cell Phones

Okay picture this. I am about to sit down to a meeting with my hope-to-be business partner and all of a sudden “Bootylicious” starts BLARING from my cell phone. I know it should have been totally embarrassing but it was HILARIOUS. I love love love ringtones. I am not sure why it is so much more fun for the WWE theme song to be announcing I have a call, ( WWE ringtones ) as opposed to the AT&T standard ring but it is this little piece of my personality I can just inject into my day (oh yeah and totally impose on others – that I LOVE). I also love the fact that I can make my own inside jokes and laugh because I can pick specific ringtones to mock those I love most when they call me. ( For example, when my mom calls me “You Can’t Touch This by MC Hammer”  plays because she is such a freak about not letting my kids touch ANYTHING in her house. )

So if you need to inject a little humor into your day, and the ring of your phone is standard (how booriiing) there are litereally thousands more ringtones to choose from at www.MyRingTonesHub.com. Everything from Country to Christian and Rap to Rock including hundreds of specialty ringtones that target your special interest. My husband, being the meathead that is his, was especially delighted to see the fight song ringtones from all the major Universities available for download.

So get going. I am going to call you later and I want to hear what ringtone you have for me.