Quick Honey Take a Picture of My Sexy Pregnant Ass

While the Japanese may be ahead of us in many areas of electronics, cars, special effects and perhaps even weapons development, they are …I am going to with centuries upon centuries behind…um like the rest of the world if taking naked pictures of women while pregnant is a “new trend.” I recently read this article that discusses the new trend of photographing pregnant women in the nude. While some people say this came into vogue when Demi Moore did it, I am going to say Europeans have been painting women since the Renasaaicnce ages with all body shapes – some with big big curves, some that are just fat and some that were pregnant. We are really kidding ourselves if we think Britney Spears or Ms. Moore started this trend.

But putting who “did it first” aside, I have to ask you, my friends….Really?! I know, I know. Pregnancy is sexy. Pregnancy is beautiful. Pregnancy is natural. Pregnancy is…blah blah blah.  Sure those pictures when you are 18 weeks and you looked like you swallowed a little basketball may be all well and cute and good (provided of course you are still working out with your trainer, still don’t eat carbs, and are a celebrity with a great personal shopper), but by 35 weeks (okay okay 28 weeks) I was feeling pretty whaleish.  Here is something I NEVER said while pregnant “I am feeling so damn sexy lets just capture THIS moment forever.” My pregnancy involved lots of things I did NOT want captured on film.

And while Angelina Jolie claims Brad Pitt made her feel “sexy the whole time” she was pregnant I have two things to say: 1. I am not Angelina, and my husband is no Brad and 2. She is full of shit.

I had a hard enough time taking pictures with my clothes on. Thank God for digital – I was deleting at least 8.6 pics for every 10 that were taken. Call me vain. Call me shallow. Call me anti-feminist, but “naked”, “pregnant” and “photo” really don’t belong in one sentence. (Actually, if you talk to Paris Hilton, and a few other overly trusting celebrities the word “naked” and “pictures” alone don’t belong in the same sentence, but I think that is another post entirely. )

So in sum, it was hard enough to look at myself in the mirror for those 3.2 God aweful seconds between disrobing and the shower – why in the WORLD do I want those 3.2 seconds captured on film? For OTHERS to see. Forever.

Are You NOT Having Sex with Your Husband?

We just love studies on relationships and sex! It’s so voyeuristic reading about what 80% of people are SUPPOSEDLY doing.

In a New York Times article (you can read it for yourself here), American couples are having sex 58 times per year. That’s roughly once per week. That’s roughly 58 MORE times than I am!

Wait?? What??? Um yeah! Now you know why I am so into this crap!

Anyway….. apparently this number is a median as there is a wide variation between couples under 30 years of age (111 times per year) and couples over 30 (58 times per year) and then freaks like me (1 per year). Where is my violin. Oh never mind.

Apparently, it’s not so uncommon. “It’s estimated that about 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year, according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University, who has studied sexless marriage.”

Are couples in sexless marriages less happy than couples having sex?

Generally, yes. There is a feedback relationship in most couples between happiness and having sex. Happy couples have more sex, and the more sex a couple has, the happier they report being. But keep in mind that sex is only one form of intimacy, and that some couples are fairly happy (and intimate) even without sex. In my 1993 study, I did find that people in sexless marriages were more likely to have considered divorce than those in sexually active marriages. There is no ideal level of sexual activity — the ideal level is what both partners are happy with — and when one (or both) are unhappy, then you can have marital problems.

Can people in a marriage that has become sexless rekindle their sex lives?

Some do. But once a marriage has been sexless for a long time, it’s very hard. One or both may be extremely afraid of hurt or rejection, or just entirely apathetic to their partner. They may not have been communicating about sex for a very long time (if ever) and have trouble talking about it. Couples who talk over their sex lives (as well as other aspects of their marriages) tend to have healthier marriages, but it’s hard to get a couple talking once they’ve established a pattern of non-communication.

There are mixed opinions about what to do to rekindle marital sex. For some couples, it may be as simple as a weekend away from the kids, taking a vacation or cruise, or just having some time off, alone. Others may need help in re-establishing communication and may seek professional assistance. The sad fact is that there are few counseling professionals that deal with this issue. Often, marriage counselors focus on other aspects, rather than sex. While these other aspects may play a big role in sexual inactivity, talking explicitly about sex is essential.

Are people in sexless marriages more likely to get divorced?

In my studies, as well as others, people in sexless marriages report that they are more likely to have considered divorce, and that they are less happy in their marriages.

Some of our former respondents have kept in touch with me, and the happiest ones are actually those that have moved on to other partners. It may be that lack of sex is a signal that all intimacy in a marriage is over, and that both would be happier in other situations. I know that this may not be a popular idea with the religious and political right, but it may be a better solution than staying in a marriage that is hurtful and unfulfilling.

In sum, these situations are just so complicated. Each couple has to examine their specific histories, their motivations and goals, and whether it is worth it to them to work on putting sex back in the marriage. It can be a difficult task and require that people take emotional and physical steps that aren’t comfortable for them.

I find this very interesting indeed. How about the fact that people let themselves get fat, sloppy and disgusting in the course of their relationships.

Or they get so bored of having sex with each other, they prefer to wash the floors or get a root canal?

Or maybe their man is soo “tapped out” from his daily porn obsession, he is just not “up to” having any more with an actually human being?

Or maybe their man is too selfish to make it satisfying for their woman?

Or maybe both or one person has an intimacy issue and eventually it catches up to their relationship?

Or possibly, there may be an illness or disability or some other physical condition preventing sex?

I’d like to blame my sexless marriage on the 65 pounds I gained from pregnancy that I still haven’t lost 2 years later and on my DH probably hating my guts (figuratively and literally).

What do you think???? Are you in a sexless marriage??? Have you been in a sexless marriage?? How did you resolve it?