Cheap Date Ideas for Parents

There are certain things that take place after marriage such as pregnancy, parenting, saving for the future and pursuing careers among others. In the middle of these things, couples forget about each other and the bonding between them grows weak day by day. However, there are ways to keep the bonding strong between couples and one of these ways can be dating. That’s right–just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can forget about going out on dates. Dating nowadays is not cheap. An ideal romantic date might be expensive and ultimately, both of you will sacrifice and decide to spend the money over more important matters. Here are some affordable ideas for your next date with your spouse.

Date during lunch time or breakfast time

Working couples are tired by nine in the evening and it’s often difficult for them to arrange a date by that time. It’s inevitable that couples would rather get some rest for the next day instead of dressing up and going out. This becomes a problem because we consider dinner as the only ideal time for dating, but guess what–lunch time can be an ideal time as well. Prices on the menu are affordable and you are energetic enough to have a great time with your partner. In addition, you are less likely to drink by lunch time and this can save you more money. Since your kids are in school, both of you can just enjoy spending time with each other without worry. During breakfast time, the prices on the menu are even cheaper than lunch time. Just imagine starting your day with your partner having a nice and quiet breakfast. What a way to start the day, right? It might not sound romantic to many couples. However, you might want to consider these options if you have time and money constraints.

Date after dinner time

If you used to be the life of the party or if you and your spouse used to set the dance floor on fire then there’s nothing wrong with reliving your party days once in a while. If you have a free weekend night on your hands then why not hire a babysitter to take care of the kids for the night? To make the most of your date night, try to avoid going to hot trendy clubs that are brimming with college party kids—unless you want to have vomit on your shoes by the end of the night. Instead, go to a more mature and classic club that caters to consumers your age. These clubs are bound to have better facilities, better drinks and better music. If you’re not the partying kind, you can also spend Saturday night having an intimate date right in the comforts of your home. You can send the kids to your parents for the night or take advantage of their slumber party in the house of another friend. Dating at home can be versatile: you can enjoy a quiet dinner for two, drink champagne out in the patio or rent a movie that you can watch while cuddling close to each other.

Strengthening Your Marriage

Marriage is complex world that everyone must carefully think about before entering. The fact that most marriages today end in divorce goes to show that not many people think about their decision to get married. This fact has made a lot of people hesitant about marriage or any serious relationship that could lead toward marriage. However, this doesn’t mean that all marriages are doomed to end. Whether you are about to walk down the aisle or you have been married for quite a while now, it’s always good to know the potential problems that lie ahead and how to surpass them. Here, we discuss the basic concepts that can strengthen and improve your marriage.

Respect and acceptance

The fundamental law of a marriage or any serious relationship is respecting each other. There is no doubt that you and your spouse love each other, but oddly enough, respect doesn’t always come automatically with love. Naturally, this leads one to question the authenticity of the love in the marriage. Respect is all about honoring your spouse as an individual—with individual feelings, opinions and thoughts. Just like respect, acceptance is also a necessary ingredient in any successful marriage. Unfortunately, only a few couples succeed in mastering this act. A lot of people who are in a relationship seek to change their partner somehow. Even though it’s good to bring out the best in our partner, you eventually have to see people for who they are and make the decision and if your personalities are compatible or will clash down the road.

Listening and communicating with each other

As marriages last longer, the quality of communication between the couple also deteriorate. Individual careers, children, chores, finances and other concerns build up inside the marriage that the couple often does not have time to tall about their feelings. If you and your spouse rarely speak to each other except to ask and answer questions or give orders then this is a sign that you need to start working on your communication again. Remember during your first dates or the early days of your marriage where the two of you will talk for hours? All in all, one of the most important foundations of a strong marriage is communication.

Passion and romance

Just like communication, passion in a marriage can also wear out as the couple stays together for a long time. After all, who has time for romance when there are groceries to buy, bill to pay and children to raise? Couples are usually preoccupied with these domestic concerns that they end up not paying attention to each other anymore. To solve this, make it a priority to have at least one date night a week, no matter how busy or stressed out you two are. Dates don’t even have to involve going out. Your romantic date can be as simple as sitting together out on the patio, opening a bottle of champagne and rediscovering why you loved each other. Do your children make it impossible? Send them over to a slumber party or to a relative who can take care of them for the night.

Bad Parenting: Root of Society’s Loss of Civility?

Civility, by definition, means perfunctory or formal politeness. Unfortunately, this politeness is something that we are seeing less and less of everyday. From Rep. Joe Wilson’s rude retort during Obama’s speech to Kanye West’s stunt to upstage Taylor Swift at an awards’ show, it seems that American culture is indeed losing civility. The origin of this problem must be uncovered or else the future generations of our nation are in grave danger. Just imagine a chaotic world that has no definition of respect. Ultimately, violence will conquer every nation and basic human values such as respect will be unheard of.

One of the real reasons behind America’s lack of civility is failed parenting. For so many parents, this fact can seem unacceptable or preposterous. However, the truth is that parents are responsible for the growth of every future generation. A recent incident that occurred in a school bus is a perfect example of how children today are rapidly losing their civility. A teenager was unexpectedly beaten up over a place to sit on the bus. What’s shocking about the video is not just the unprovoked violence, but the apathy of most of the other passengers who just sat and watched. Some even encouraged the fight.

In cases such as these, one cannot help but think that parenting and the home life of a child are the factors to blame. Everyone knows that the smallest organization in society is the family. Families are the foundation of every nation. Almost every single member of society has his roots in some kind of family. Every politician, scientist, teacher, student, doctor, nurse, business man and news reporter that make up a society all hail from their own families. We need to understand how important parents are and how each individual’s attitude in life is molded at home.
If you are a parent then you obviously have your work cut out for you. Do not hesitate to act now because there is no better time than the present to instill good and humane values into your children. Not to do this basic parenting task would be a crime toward your family and toward society in general.

“Family first” is a phrase that you’ve probably heard and read a million times before. We’ve done the talk, now are we ready to do the walk? Are we ready to make drastic changes in the environment that we create at home?

Creating a good home life for your children is not as hard as you think. The ingredients of a good home are usually loving parents who are good role models for their kids, children who are respected and are in turn taught how to respect others as well as open communication lines between parent and child. A child who came from a home where respect is practiced will usually reflect the same value in society. On the other hand, an individual who has been exposed to a chaotic home life where rudeness and violence are a daily part of life is likely to carry out these attitudes outside the home.

However, there are still some parents who insist that factors outside the home such as peer pressure and pop culture are the main culprits in today’s lack of civility. What do YOU think?

Reinvent Romance Back Into Your Relationship After A Baby

The first time Tom and I went out after our daughter turned 2, was a surreal experience. We went out to dinner, ate in peace and actually were able to have a normal conversation that did not involve the words: “No, don’t play with your food”, “Don’t throw your fork and food on the floor”, “Don’t stick noodles in your nose!” and sooooo  many more versions of this!

Don’t get me wrong! We’ve gone out all together but that is an experience for a different post!

I cannot tell you how refreshing it can be to go out and just enjoy a night out! But it does involve some planning ahead of time and a reliable babysitter. Here is a great post from The Bump with some creative ideas on how to spice up your Valentine’s Day.

Planning ahead is key here!

Gone are the days when you and your partner can jump up and go out to dinner or even a movie. Try to plan in advance either a long lunch from work or even take a day off and enjoy a spa massage, mani-pedi, or even couples’ facials. Anything to break the routine of work, home, diapers, bottles, pumping, feeding, etc.

And even if you stay at home with the baby, it’s still a good idea to prepare in advance, get a babysitter, pump extra milk.

Simple gifts can be appreciated more than store-bought gifts.

I must admit, in those early days with an infant, the opportunity to take a shower and/or a nap, was an absolute luxury. Give your partner a few hours off to do something for themselves or even treat them to a massage, a relaxing bath, a middle of the day nap and a home-made dinner would be an absolute thrill!!

Get adventurous and creative!

From The Bump: Couples therapist and The Nest expert Dr. Ingrid Schweiger of New York City says “Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to make your relationship center stage again.” While a dozen roses, a box of chocolates and a fancy dinner out are all great (and universal) ways to woo your partner, think about what you can change within your own home. “A clean bedroom, a made bed, some candles and soft music is pretty romantic when you’re used to diapers, bottles, piles of laundry and dirty dishes,” says Blumencranz. Once baby goes down for the night (or for a couple of hours) uncork the wine and whip out the china—even if it’s just takeout or pasta on the fancy ware, the ambiance is key. Bonus points if you take the time to cut out little hearts from construction paper and sprinkle them on the table when your partner isn’t looking. And remember, says Blumencranz, Valentine’s Day is the day when you show your partner how much he or she means to you. The day can be as special as you want it to be. Dr. Schweiger agrees. She says the biggest mistake you can make is to not acknowledge the day because baby is here. Schweiger recommends writing your partner a love letter. “Even if life has been stressful with all the changes brought by parenthood, reflect on what makes your partner unique and lovable,” she says. “Deepening your intimacy is what it’s all about.”

There you have it. So even in a tough economy you can enjoy your Valentine’s day as a couple and bring romance back into your relationship!

Quick Honey Take a Picture of My Sexy Pregnant Ass

While the Japanese may be ahead of us in many areas of electronics, cars, special effects and perhaps even weapons development, they are …I am going to with centuries upon centuries behind…um like the rest of the world if taking naked pictures of women while pregnant is a “new trend.” I recently read this article that discusses the new trend of photographing pregnant women in the nude. While some people say this came into vogue when Demi Moore did it, I am going to say Europeans have been painting women since the Renasaaicnce ages with all body shapes – some with big big curves, some that are just fat and some that were pregnant. We are really kidding ourselves if we think Britney Spears or Ms. Moore started this trend.

But putting who “did it first” aside, I have to ask you, my friends….Really?! I know, I know. Pregnancy is sexy. Pregnancy is beautiful. Pregnancy is natural. Pregnancy is…blah blah blah.  Sure those pictures when you are 18 weeks and you looked like you swallowed a little basketball may be all well and cute and good (provided of course you are still working out with your trainer, still don’t eat carbs, and are a celebrity with a great personal shopper), but by 35 weeks (okay okay 28 weeks) I was feeling pretty whaleish.  Here is something I NEVER said while pregnant “I am feeling so damn sexy lets just capture THIS moment forever.” My pregnancy involved lots of things I did NOT want captured on film.

And while Angelina Jolie claims Brad Pitt made her feel “sexy the whole time” she was pregnant I have two things to say: 1. I am not Angelina, and my husband is no Brad and 2. She is full of shit.

I had a hard enough time taking pictures with my clothes on. Thank God for digital – I was deleting at least 8.6 pics for every 10 that were taken. Call me vain. Call me shallow. Call me anti-feminist, but “naked”, “pregnant” and “photo” really don’t belong in one sentence. (Actually, if you talk to Paris Hilton, and a few other overly trusting celebrities the word “naked” and “pictures” alone don’t belong in the same sentence, but I think that is another post entirely. )

So in sum, it was hard enough to look at myself in the mirror for those 3.2 God aweful seconds between disrobing and the shower – why in the WORLD do I want those 3.2 seconds captured on film? For OTHERS to see. Forever.

Are You NOT Having Sex with Your Husband?

We just love studies on relationships and sex! It’s so voyeuristic reading about what 80% of people are SUPPOSEDLY doing.

In a New York Times article (you can read it for yourself here), American couples are having sex 58 times per year. That’s roughly once per week. That’s roughly 58 MORE times than I am!

Wait?? What??? Um yeah! Now you know why I am so into this crap!

Anyway….. apparently this number is a median as there is a wide variation between couples under 30 years of age (111 times per year) and couples over 30 (58 times per year) and then freaks like me (1 per year). Where is my violin. Oh never mind.

Apparently, it’s not so uncommon. “It’s estimated that about 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year, according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University, who has studied sexless marriage.”

Are couples in sexless marriages less happy than couples having sex?

Generally, yes. There is a feedback relationship in most couples between happiness and having sex. Happy couples have more sex, and the more sex a couple has, the happier they report being. But keep in mind that sex is only one form of intimacy, and that some couples are fairly happy (and intimate) even without sex. In my 1993 study, I did find that people in sexless marriages were more likely to have considered divorce than those in sexually active marriages. There is no ideal level of sexual activity — the ideal level is what both partners are happy with — and when one (or both) are unhappy, then you can have marital problems.

Can people in a marriage that has become sexless rekindle their sex lives?

Some do. But once a marriage has been sexless for a long time, it’s very hard. One or both may be extremely afraid of hurt or rejection, or just entirely apathetic to their partner. They may not have been communicating about sex for a very long time (if ever) and have trouble talking about it. Couples who talk over their sex lives (as well as other aspects of their marriages) tend to have healthier marriages, but it’s hard to get a couple talking once they’ve established a pattern of non-communication.

There are mixed opinions about what to do to rekindle marital sex. For some couples, it may be as simple as a weekend away from the kids, taking a vacation or cruise, or just having some time off, alone. Others may need help in re-establishing communication and may seek professional assistance. The sad fact is that there are few counseling professionals that deal with this issue. Often, marriage counselors focus on other aspects, rather than sex. While these other aspects may play a big role in sexual inactivity, talking explicitly about sex is essential.

Are people in sexless marriages more likely to get divorced?

In my studies, as well as others, people in sexless marriages report that they are more likely to have considered divorce, and that they are less happy in their marriages.

Some of our former respondents have kept in touch with me, and the happiest ones are actually those that have moved on to other partners. It may be that lack of sex is a signal that all intimacy in a marriage is over, and that both would be happier in other situations. I know that this may not be a popular idea with the religious and political right, but it may be a better solution than staying in a marriage that is hurtful and unfulfilling.

In sum, these situations are just so complicated. Each couple has to examine their specific histories, their motivations and goals, and whether it is worth it to them to work on putting sex back in the marriage. It can be a difficult task and require that people take emotional and physical steps that aren’t comfortable for them.

I find this very interesting indeed. How about the fact that people let themselves get fat, sloppy and disgusting in the course of their relationships.

Or they get so bored of having sex with each other, they prefer to wash the floors or get a root canal?

Or maybe their man is soo “tapped out” from his daily porn obsession, he is just not “up to” having any more with an actually human being?

Or maybe their man is too selfish to make it satisfying for their woman?

Or maybe both or one person has an intimacy issue and eventually it catches up to their relationship?

Or possibly, there may be an illness or disability or some other physical condition preventing sex?

I’d like to blame my sexless marriage on the 65 pounds I gained from pregnancy that I still haven’t lost 2 years later and on my DH probably hating my guts (figuratively and literally).

What do you think???? Are you in a sexless marriage??? Have you been in a sexless marriage?? How did you resolve it?

Steve McNair

Normally there is a big divide in our house hold over the purpose of anything sports related. Basically my husband sees the historical significance and statistical importance of a game – I see a bunch of overgrown children (eh..men) reliving their youth by throwing an object made of rubber/animal skin. So needless to say that the murder of Steve McNair should have basically gone unnoticed. However, I have to say, sadly this story has a little of something for everyone. Murder, Romance, Tragedy, Sports Legacy…it is all there. But what I want to discuss is what no one else is.

Well we are all saying it in our heads but not out loud. Because every wife….everywhere…WANTS to say….”See!?!? See what cheating gets you!?” Not to say that he deserved to be shot in the head, or in the chest…(Personally I would have okayed a mild beating from her own family member (father, son, brother, etc.) but not what he got.)

But I have to say there is a snideness to the commentary when I talked to any woman that is aware of what is going on. (Which frankly in my clique of women this story is referred to as “that football guy that got shot by his girlfriend because he was cheating on his wife and MOTHER OF HIS FOUR KIDS. (Insert explicative here).”   Frankly, that’s just the way we roll: we could care less about the impressive work ethic on the field or his overall passing yards. We don’t care what his arms, legs, or throwing shoulder could do…cause we are all focusing on what other parts of him did. Everyone close to the family claims that the wife did not know at all about the girlfriend….Yeah I can believe that because oh I don’t know…maybe she was really busy raising HIS FOUR CHILDREN. (Although I don’t care who you are, professional athlete should always be a red flag.)

Anyway, here is the question of the day…as the widow what do you do? I mean she has GOT to be FURIOUS – does she go to the funeral and say all nice things? Do you express any sort of anger? I like to think I would be classy about it but I think I would be slipping right and left in that eulogy. My comments would read something like:  “I will really miss his smile ..that cheating bastard.” “He was a wonderful husband…when he was not sleeping around with 20 year olds he met at Dave & Busters.” I guess you bite your tongue for the children that have already been disappointed enough by one parent…but how unfair that his wife has to not only endure the embarrassment, betrayal, and pick up the pieces of her children’s broken hearts – she can’t even say what she wants t?! She doesn’t even have the right to find out about the affair and yell and scream and vent.

What would I say? I don’t know what I would say if I was in the wife Mechelle’s shoes but I know at the end of the day…I think all I am going to say to my husband today is one simple word….”SEE?!”

Have You Cheated On Your Husband? Would You Admit To It?

Picture this: The perfect couple with the perfect kids. They show affection and love in public. They can’t seem to get their hands off each other. They never fight! They make fun of other people and their problems. They vacation and have a great time! They are the PERFECT couple! Until that is, they split up because one is cheating on the other.

Go figure!

Some people openly admit to having cheated or living with someone who has cheated on them. Most people would rather cut off a limb than admit, even after being caught red-handed.

But who is most likely to cheat? The man or the woman? And why?

According to a recent study reported by the New York Times, “infidelity appears to be on the rise, particularly among older men and young couples. Notably, women appear to be closing the adultery gap: younger women appear to be cheating on their spouses nearly as often as men.”

I personally find marriage studies quite biased. First of all, women are less likely to admit they are cheating on their spouse. Second of all, they are less likely to get caught.

In today’s society, most men are increasingly more obsessed with internet porn, sleeping with other women or have completely checked out of their long-term relationships.

On the other hand, women are increasingly working out of the house, have lives of their own and more opportunities to meet other men. Even women who stay home have more opportunities to connect with other people through internet dating sites, instant chat and cell phones.

I think this may actually reduce the divorce rate, in some instances. Let’s think about this for a minute… Your husband leaves you and the kids to go on business trips every other week. You spend your days taking care of your kids, going to work and just trying to cope with being a single parent for half the month. Most nights you spend watching the latest trashy reality show or reading the latest mommy book.

How long do you think you can take this before you turn to internet dating and get some human attention from the opposite sex? Even if it’s virtual at first?

How long before it turns into instant messaging and emails. Then phone calls… and then face to face.

Would you take it to the next step? Would you lie to your husband?

Do you think other women would and should? Would that keep their marriage together or break them apart?